Friday, July 29, 2011


Greetings fellow denizens of the internet. If you are anything like me, then you are undoubtedly aware of how your kidneys are removing the caffeine from your body. Soon you will slump back to your own harsh reality marked only by exhaustion, headaches, and loose bowel movements.

But what if you could get more caffeine into your body at once? You may say things like, "But Grant, I just drank four 'five-hour-energy's, what could get more caffeine in me that that?" ...Um nothing, and I suggest you call that van with the flashing lights. I'm not trying to stop your heart, but instead want to give you an alternative to that normal dose of pick me up in the morning that gets everything set in motion. It was about two years ago when I discovered cold brew coffee (Also known as toddy) and fell in love. When coffee is brewed using the drip method much of the precious, precious caffeine is diluted and the amount of acidity compounds exponentially. Cold brewing produces a coffee concentrate with four times the caffeine content and a dramatically lower acidity. Its perfect for people who have bleeding ulcers from drinking too much coffee. Win, win.

Before we start the cold brewing process, we need to build an apparatus.

The Apparatus:
1 Shot of Rum (consume)
2 Large Plastic Cups (fast food, gas station, or similar.) I used Arby's. (Not because Arby's was particularly good, but they gave me them for free, which was nice of them.)
A Square of Cardboard
A Thumb Tack
Exact-o Knife.
Aluminum Foil

Brewing Position
First we need to designate a cup as the inner and outer cups. It is very important not to get these two confused, I recommend labeling them with a sharpie. On the inner cup you need to take the thumb tack and poke the bottom full of holes. The more holes the faster your coffee will drain out when it's done. Poke holes until you get bored.

Now you're pretty much done...Oh wait, I forgot about the cardboard. Ok. Trace the bottom of a cup on the cardboard and using the exact-o knife cut the circle out so that it is slightly larger. The goal is to have a circle that allows the inner cup to be suspended over the outer cup. See Image on how everything is supposed to end up.

DONE! Best Apparatus Ever.

Toddy Time:
1 Shot of Rum (Consume)
Ground Coffee

Draining position.
Now we're ready to make Toddy, drink some rum. Now, place the inner cup inside the outer cup and add a light dusting of ground coffee to the bottom. Using filtered water, pour in until the coffee seems saturated. Add another light dusting and add more water. Do this slowly until the fill level is equal to the rim of the lower cup. Cover the top with foil and let it sit over night.

The next day, separate the top cup from the bottom and place the cardboard square in between the cups so that it drains into the bottom. It will take about ten minutes for all the sweet coffee goodness to drip out. Discard the coffee grounds and pour the toddy into a pitcher and store in the fridge.

You can drink it straight for a concentrated shot of coffee madness, or you can dilute it to resemble normal coffee with less acid. Pour 1/4 of a cup toddy and dilute it with hot water to simulate a normal cup of coffee.
Or you could, mix it over ice, 1/2 and 1/2 with milk and flavoring syrup to make one of my favorite drinks.

Whole Milk
Caramel Syrup
Hazelnut Syrup
Shake in Boston Shaker and Strain over More Ice.


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