Saturday, October 23, 2010

Someone I Love

My day just doesn't feel right,
like walking too long with one shoe,
I've wandered in wide hopeless circles,
constantly dreaming of you.

I never realized how closely we lived,
how connected we really were,
until all that was left was a puzzle,
with nary a hope of an answer.

I've taken my phone out all day,
feeling the keys like they're written in braille,
wondering how many texts you'll ignore,
or calls that go straight to voice mail.

All day random things have entered my head,
from the weather to what's in my dreams,
and I even thought you would like it alot,
when I found alcoholic whipped creams.

"Perhaps she would like that", I thought,
as I casually reached for my phone,
to send you a text, sometimes out of context
before realizing that I'm now alone.

So I have ample time to remember,
Hell, that's really all I can do,
Is just sit on a bench on a fall afternoon,
Thinking of what we've been through.

There was the time he forgot your birthday,
and ended up eating your cake,
so I ran to the store in a hurry,
attempting to fix his mistake.

How could I forget the adventures,
or the two AM runs to get food,
when we'd laugh over omelets and breakfast potatoes,
chatting as our cravings subdued.

Those nights when secrecy mattered,
cause my roommate still rather scoffed,
when we spent the whole night up in bed,
and he caught you climbing down from the loft.

Some times I'd been drinking, way too much to drive,
and you drove me back home wearily,
I never forgot how lucky I was,
that a lover would do that for me.

There are so many memories back there,
almost two and a half years of stuff,
but as I sit down and think through them,
I realize it wasn't enough.

Perhaps that's the nature of things that have past,
how they tend not to linger, but fade,
the negative times gleam so bright in hindsight,
while the happiness starts to degrade.

That's life I suppose, and it's cruel twists of fate
its as if you are running a race,
but life doesn't care mow much you've run before,
right after you fall on your face.

This is hardly an ending, no closure at all,
with us awkwardly drifting apart.
and I am sure more sleepless nights are in store,
before we can finally depart.

I'm sorry for the selfish, awful mistakes,
that I made without thinking, it's clear,
for those lessons learned were the hardest of all,
and the consequences were just as severe.

I know that I'm wrong, I know that I'm weak,
I know that I'm  lost without sight,
and it took your harsh stance to remind me,
how much I still needed to fight,
for someone I love.

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